The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit is grammar. But grammar becomes shit when Neeru Bheda uses it.
Neeru Bheda is an Indian politician, dancer, Hindi film and television actress and television talk show host, who has appeared in many Hindi and few Kannada, Marathi, Telugu and Tamil films.
Now you must wonder who on Earth is this Neeru Bheda?
She’s none other than India’s (dum)best drama queen, Rakhi Sawant. And ED is honoured to have her on our very popular (FAKE) Friendly Fridays section.
Q. Hello Rakhi! It’s a pleasure to have you on (Fake) Friendly Friday. So, Rakhi, how will you describe your career so far?
A. Have you called the mediaz? I am not do it if there is no mediaz. I Lou Mediaz!
See, in the starting, my career was not that good. I did not got good work. Beauty was Gods ka gifts to me but you know, aajkal Gods ka gifts is not enough. But I did not got afraid. Jo cheez bhagwan nahi de sakta, wo doctor de deta h.
Q. Your love life has been quite a buzz. When will Rakhi Sawant finally find her soulmate?
A. I have no regrets from Abhishek. I have forgived Abhishek. It is very painful but I’m a professional. Mere liye pehle kaam h. When you talk about Elesh, Elesh did not came to India to marry me, he just wanted money to pay his karza.
But yeah, marry I will but with the right person and if need be holding another Swayamwar. Why not? If you fail an exam, you make a second try na?
My current crush is Virat Kohli. Anushka hasn’t confessed yet, but I declares my love for him. I really like Virat a lot because I want him to make my lips swell. If you can make Anushka’s lips swell then you can make mine too, quickly.
Q. How does it feel like to be a politician? Please tell us about your political party.
A. See, I am the daughter of the BJP. Modi Ji inspired me to become a politician and fight for the country. But then I thinked that I should make my own party. This gived me the idea of RAP ( Rashtriya Aam Party). When I goed to take my poll symbol, they finded me so hot that they gived me green chilli as the symbol. You know, teekhi mirchi hu main… Janta supported us well but what is daughter in front of father? I have no regrets for BJP win. Aakhir beti hu unki! But yeah, I have learned that you can only win when you are in a big party. This made me join RPI(Republican Party of India).
Q. We heard that you had some issues with Katrina Kaif and Kangna Ranaut. Was it true? If it was, what exactly were your issues with them?
A. Kangna commented on me that I told Mika to kiss me. So I just told her to kiss Mika if she was that eager for fame and stardom.
No comments for Katrina. I respect Salman bhai and Ranbir is my lovely. I would just like to say that Katrina is greenhorn and I am your desi Sawant who is here for donkey’s years now.
Q. You once said that you had a soft corner for Baba Ramdev. What made you have that?
A. Whenever Swamiji comes on my TV screen and does his yoga, it makes me feel too hot. I like when he winks at me every now and then. I just hope he does not calls me his sister when I approach him. Aajkal toh he’s busy so I’m scared to contact him. Wo kya h na, mjhe maar khaane ka shauk nahi h.
Q. Would you like to say something to our readers?
A. World works on just three things- Entertainment, Entertainment and Entertainment. Aur main entertainment hu!
Interviewer: Aena Rizvi
Design Credits: Amit Patel
Views presented in the article are those of the author and not of ED.