It is OK to be judgemental.
OK please hear me out people, before you come at me with your pitchforks and weapons for saying such a ridiculous and preposterous thing, just…hear me out first.
Yes, I do mean my statement. I do believe that its OK to be judgemental, and before you start to huff and puff, don’t deny that every single one of you does not do it every single day.
You look at something or someone and you immediately form a judgement or impression, the saying ‘first impression is the last impression’ is not wrong you know. There is a reason its said and although you shouldn’t hold someone to that first impression, you should leave room for some improvement, but somewhere in your mind that first impression will always linger. Will always float around in your long term memory.
So, yeah don’t disagree with me and admit that we all judge. It doesn’t matter how nice or kind or generous you are, you can’t help but form judgements about other people, be it family, friends, relative or even a person you passed by on the street. Something about them will catch your eye and you will instantly form an opinion based on that about the person itself.
So what I’m trying to say in this article is that being judgemental shouldn’t be treated like a criminal felony or a grave sin. It shouldn’t be seen at with disgust and anyone who even think in the privacy of their mind something about another person, be made to feel ashamed for feeling or thinking like that.
Everyone has their own version of right and wrong and everyone has their own limits and prejudices about what they are comfortable with and all. I understand that, its perfectly normal, a person cannot be accepting of everything that happens in their life, sometimes you can adjust to it, other times you are just not comfortable with the new changes.
But I also feel that there is a line to this judgement, that there are some rules we all should play by with. See, as long as the judgement or impression you have about something is contained within your own mind or at the most to only your closest friends or family then it is fine. I don’t really have a problem with that.
But it is when that judgement get out in the society and starts to affect the life of the particular person and starts to harm them in some way, that is when I have a problem with it.
I understand hesitancy, judgement, distrust and even wariness of anything new or different. We all have our quirks and they might not seem correct to the rest of the world, but somewhere in your brain they make sense. So yeah, I get all that and everyone is entitled to all those traits, they might not be the proud traits to have, but everyone has them, no matter how different we all might be, every single one of us has these traits in us.
I think for this to make more sense, I will put in a little example in the form of a story and hopefully my true aim behind this article will become more clear to you readers.
So there was once an office, you can make it out to be whichever type of office you want, in that office was a regular employee, employee A, been in the company for a few years now, an altogether friendly person and average employee. One day employee A finds out that there is going to be an addition in its team and clearly like all the others, formed a vague image of what it wants this new member to be and what qualities it should have.
But the reality was a bit different, the new employee wasn’t all how employee A had wanted it to be and there were some aspects of its personality that employee A wasn’t altogether comfortable with. They were weird and unnatural to employee A and it felt that such kind of a person couldn’t be a good person or a good professional.
So consumed by its own prejudices and judgement was employee A towards the new employee that when the time came for new employees’ evaluation by the old team that employee A gave a bad evaluation and frankly to ‘A’ that made sense, since it had never really interacted with the new employee and to employee A this evaluation was correct. But what it forgot was that in the professional area such personal judgements and prejudices should be set aside and that a person should be judged only from the work point.
Unfortunately the new employee lost its job because of the evaluations as seeing employee A, many of the others too had turned tail, and given the new employee a bad evaluation.
Later the new employee itself came up to employee A and cleared all its judgements and showed employee A how wrong it was. But by then it was too late and the damage was done. Employee A lived the rest of its life with the guilt and regret that it cost a good person a livelihood based on just its own personal judgements and prejudices.
And that’s why I feel that judging someone in the closed walls of your brain or only sharing them with some close friends and family is OK. I don’t have any problem with that. But when you start to go out and start to spread that judgement on to others and that in turn starts to affect the life of that something then it becomes a problem.
Because you might be spreading completely baseless and useless judgement in your surrounding environment and you never know how far your reach might be and how it may affect the something that you are talking about.
What Should Be Done!
So, judge away all you want but just think before spreading that judgement into the others since just because you feel it to be wrong doesn’t really make it wrong you know!
So once again judging and being judgemental towards other isn’t really the most gravest of sins. I agree that its bad, but its nothing to be ashamed about. And it’s a part of life, someone somewhere is going to judge, you no getting past that.
But just think before you start to spread that “personal” opinion of yours thinking it to be a universal truth and the correct thing and just let it go. Learn to differentiate between something gravely wrong and something that just might seem wrong to you because of your own mindset.
See…I am not a douche bag after all aren’t I?
While judging others is not the most attractive quality yet its still there, but just be careful how far you go when it comes to that judgement.
Views presented in the article are those of the author and not of ED.