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    The Irony of Homophobia


    DISCLAIMER: This is a satire. Readers are requested to take it in that sense.

    A youth had recently posed a question on behalf of Kenya, saying “We have very beautiful, amazing and lovely women… why should we be gay?” with a picture of a rather beautiful woman shedding a single tear…


    And they say he has Homophobia, like it’s a bad thing. If he is scared of men who may try to seduce him someday, why is he being judged on his fear? Also, what exactly is it that he said which is wrong? Is there any valid reason for a man to pursue another man, thereby leaving so many beautiful women wanton? This will lead to nothing but stupid balance! We have spent so many years trying to destroy sex ratios… now how dare these men find happiness in each other?!

    This is all America’s fault! If it had not been for their care and concern about equality for everyone, and their influence over the world, our children wouldn’t stray from our culture, and think that LGBT community is human!


    Every new day, the generation of hippie non-believers is coming up with a Splitsvilla love story – with Uptown Funk in their amour. Our ancestors never took to this path. Love was pure, no one could digress it! The good old days of black and white movies, now tarnished by the gaudy rainbow filter! They talk about #MyChoice, but who is giving them this choice? It’s the majority! WE make up the democracy! They are subject to our mercy, and if they try to ask for rights, we will bully them. Because that’s what separates humans from animals, our “intelligent” thinking!


    Setting Examples

    June 26th, 2015 – the date when America’s first Afro-American President (running his second term in the White House) sanctioned same-sex marriages in all 50 states of a Caucasian-dominated country. Honestly, seems like an overdose of Equality. The youth seems to be deliberately overlooking the hierarchical systems that our wise forefathers have built great nations on. They seem to want to let everyone do as they please.


    At least we can be sure that SOME of our fellow nations are keeping peace in their countries by eliminating the iniquity. Some countries around the globe still hold the power to crush the criminals (but spare the wrongdoers).

    So turns out, if in the following countries, you are heterosexual and “pure” your faith they will conserve. But for your homo counterpart, they are served what they deserve…

    • Iran: Hanging to Death and Flogging. In 2005, a gay couple was publically executed, pictures went viral. 100 flogs can be penalized before death sentence.
    • Gambia: No freedom, no human rights. Even decapitation. If you are gay in Gambia, then you may be dismembered for committing “sinful and immoral practices”.
    • Sudan: Sex-selective stoning to Death. In Sudan, for their first “offense”, lesbian women are buried up to their neck after lashing and then bombarded with stones to the head. Men are lashed on their first act and stoned on their third.
    • Afghanistan: Imprisonment and Stoning. An 84-year old convicted of gay sex is run over with a wall by a tanker. When Taliban’s effort fail (because the man SURVIVED), they sent him to the Hospital, because of Islam Principles.
    • Nigeria: Hanging to Death, Stoning, No Human Rights.


    We Indians sadly have a weakness for all humans. We have a habit of going easy on criminals. Hence, we do not punish gays by condemning them to death or physical pain. Because of the western apes, the transgender has been recognized as a human sex, but wise are the parents who give up their undisciplined children with immoral curiosities. Also, thank God for the Englishmen who gave us the boon of section 377, wherein no carnal sexual acts are permissible under the Indian Penal Code. It controls the most disgraceful part of incorrect sexuality!

    The red on the following world map shows the places on Earth where all rules of religion, tradition and culture have died, in the name of equality…


    Wrongs and Rights…

    All those who support this heinous act of unnatural bonding, here are the conditions that you are agreeing to, by agreeing to legalize being gay…

    • Accepting blood donated by people indulging in like-gender sexual intercourse. If you were on your deathbed, would you take blood from a man who beds another man?
    • Sanctioning political recognition to unions, like marriages. If your lesbian best friend took in a wife, who would go to her wedding!?
    • Allowing LGBT members to adopt babies and supporting their parenthood. What would the child grow up to say?


    • Protection from bullies and raggers by granting appropriate laws. Like I said, it’s the circle of life… the big are MEANT to dominate the weak.
    • Providing equal immigration and residency facilities. Would you live next to a sophisticatedly-decorated house belonging to a “man”?
    • Ensuring that they receive equal and fair age of consent and employment benefits. Would you like it if instead of you, your boss slept with him? Would you still complain about unequal pay?

    As interpreted by the Catholic Church, Christianity – and according to Quran-learners, Islam – neither allows same-sex unions. In fact, no religion whatsoever permits this kind of a connection between man and man or woman and woman. And anyone who stands up for the basic rights of the LGBT are standing up against God!


    Now, in all seriousness, I request you to consider how difficult the lives of so many are, because our perverted minds dart to their bedroom activities when they come out of the closet. I think that if they kept quiet, and hid their identity, their lives would be easier. But then so would ours have been if we had abided by the British rules until 1947.


    Views presented in the article are those of the author and not of ED.

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