Football clubs have certain unique characteristics. These characteristics, are more often than not, personified as a function of their history, location, performance, players, attitude and of course fans.
And then we have Bollywood actors. They are demi gods. They are talented. They are larger than life. They are entertainment.
So as the new season is about to start, ED takes a look at what all human (Read: Bollywood) manifestation of these famous football clubs could be.
1. REAL MADRID= RANBIR KAPOOR
Both have a great legacy behind them. Both of them come from great money. And the world is almost waiting for them to take over the stage, which they keep doing on –and –off, case in points: La Decima and YJHD. But, of course, there have been blips. Mourinho and Bombay Velvet.
2. JUVENTUS= AMITABH BACHCHAN
It’s only fair that the this list includes the ‘Grand Old, Albeit Angry Man’ of Bollywood with ‘ The Old Lady from Turin’. Again, a rich history, with immense talents, and a respect unmatched. Both have come out, not only unscathed, but also shining and rising from controversies that threatened their existence ( Bofors and Match-fixing scandal). And while Amitji has his fan base, his staunch loyalists, so does Juve with players like Pirlo and Buffon.
3. F.C.BARCELONA= AAMIR KHAN
The perfectionist of Bollywood to the club that personifies perfection in football. Numerous laurels, and a unique style which has shed the light upon a completely new brand of what they do.
4. PSG= SALMAN KHAN
Both these entities have seen quite a resurgence of late. But more than that, it’s their firebrand style, larger-than-life, chill attitude that makes them more common to each other. And both are massively popular amongst the general public.
5. SOUTHAMPTON= RANVEER SINGH
Even though Ranveer is a gooner, its Southampton that suits him the best!
Extremely talented, they are both self-made entities who latched onto the first break they got. One can see them performing consistently on a grand scale and performance is improving with each passing day. What’s more important is that when we see them performing, we lovin’.
6. LIVERPOOL= SHAHRUKH KHAN
Maybe this may not be that accurate, but SRK is gradually becoming a Liverpool. A great actor in his peak, now on a decline with an entirely new generation of club to compete with, but nonetheless, a legacy to be proud of.
7. CHELSEA= HRITHIK ROSHAN
The cool, calm and suave rich kid on the bloc, Chelsea and HR have consistently performed even though they are yet to be crowned the ultimate kings of their respective fields. They have tasted success, but a lot more needs to be done. (And HR is a lifelong CFC fan!)
8. ARSENAL= SHAHID KAPOOR
Each year you think its Arsenal’s year, and each Shahid movie seems promising. Yet, none of them ever materializes. And both are now in committed relationships. Arsenal’s with Wenger has been on for 15 years now, Shahid-Mira, quite recent.
SPECIAL FEATURE: AC MILAN= GOVINDA
Both ChiChi and AC Milan have a glorious history, and more or less at the same time. Boasting of players like Gattuso, Maldini, Ronaldinho and more recently Kaka, AC Milan have been kings of football and made their way into hearts of people across the world. Govinda, with his No.1 series, immaculate comic timing and expressive face, was the king of Bollywood. They both then faced a downhill path, of which they haven’t seen the end. Nonetheless, they have tried and acted in extreme despair and desperation. AC Milan did this by signing Honda and re-signing Kaka, Govinda with Partner, Money hai to Honey hai,etc etc. We will always love them, even if they fade into irrelevance.
This completes our round-up. With a season to go, and an action packed year for Bollywood in stor, let us see how this list gets re-defined.
Views presented in the article are those of the author and not of ED.