It’s the last thing on your mind before you go off to sleep; it’s the first thing on your hand after you wake up the next morning. You feel incomplete without it; you can’t function well without it. Math is your best friend when it is around; you are your own best friend when it around. And if you’re still puzzled as to what ‘it’ actually is – then the last clue will surely tell you all.
You decorate it – you care for it like it’s your baby – you try to keep it away from water – you try to keep it away from a stranger (read: friend?!).
And if this isn’t your smartphone, then you may as well dig a hole in the ground for yourself, because you are a complete misfit in this 21st-century-metropolitan city-life.
Of course, being smartphone-savvy is the new nerd-look. Children and parents (in some cases) flock around you, waiting for you to work your magic around with their phones, and make it as awe-inspiring as yours.
And being the dude that you are, I’m sure you’re usually more than happy to comply to these requests.
Want to know a little more about your own self? *Take a look, then!*
1. You be the daredevil – handling the steering wheel and the mobile phone, while honking your way in and out of busy roads. After all, who’s got time to stop the vehicle to attend a call.
2. Charging the phone and listening to music. And then falling asleep – and ultimately blowing up the phone due to over-heating. Because you can’t choose between your longing for good music and providing your phone with a life support system.
3. What’s in a healthy family relationship as long as you send forwarde-ables and cute little hearts to your blood relations via Whatsapp/Facebook? AND THEN PLAY CANDY-CRUSH GAMES?
4. Wooing your ladylove is so old-school – a red heart, a kiss, and a message that’s oozing out love and warmth-and-charmth, and voila! You’re dating someone who shares your mental wavelength. So much louveeee!
5. Need the phone while taking a dump? Be careful of wet floors, and open pot heads – and you’re good to go. You are now quite literally living, breathing, talking and touching the love of your life.
6. Metro ride = Jam session. Forget about ruining your own ears, you might affect those of others as well! But, well. Music is love, and as long as phones have songs in them, the rest of the world can go to hell. Tee-hee.
7. Online shopping never got easier – so what if you don’t have the laptop? You forget how loyal and trustworthy your smart smart-phone is. New clothes are now just a click away! Time to chuck the good ol’ shopping-cart-with-noisy-wheels away! And chuck away bonding time. And deep, meaning, intellectual conversations. And a casual hang-out, as well. Kiss them all good-byeeee.
8. But first, let me take a selfie! *sigh* Would a phone be smart without a front camera? Noppety. What’s a little (read: crazily mind-boggling) traffic when it’s selfie time? The place is perfect for a picture – even if a car speeds into view and photo-BOMBS the picture…
9. Got an eye power but are still on the phone for hours on end? Still huddle under the blanket for a temporary cover?Sure, why not? After all, a –(ve) 4 is not very different from a –(ve) 5, right?
10. ‘All that jazz’ – yes, we know you love bling. We know you love the phone. Allow us to be the deer to your *flashy* phone.
Your phone is your whole world, and if you found these points familiar, then hats off to you. You passed the test with flying colours. Welcome to the Beginning of the End.
Images Credits: Google Images
Views presented in the article are those of the author and not of ED.