By Kshiteeja Tomar
This week we take a closer look at one of Canada’s very famous science experiments. Deadpool or “Merc with a mouth” as he is popularly known, is an anti-hero in a tight fitted red costume who has the super power of accelerated healing. Along with being ugly, he is a well-trained assassin and is famous for his smart mouth and nonsense comebacks.
Let’s welcome Mr. Wilson a.k.a Deadpool
K: Great to have you on our show, DP. I hope you are comfortable in your costume. Anything else we can get you?
DP: Since I was smart enough to bring my mouth this time, all I need for you to do is bring me more chimichangas and prepare to bathe my donkeys.
K: Right away, sir. So let’s start with something easy… okay, no offence to you but how do you manage to be so smug and cocky all the time with such an unpleasant face? I mean you have a face that looks like that it has been run over by a truck on a mountainous surface.
DP: Fear is a key, my friend. You must have heard about the time when my TV wasn’t working and so I kicked it. Lo Behold, it started working. Now, if you know everyone in the world fears you, you get everything you desire, avocado face or not. And by everything, I mean EVERYTHING. Even HOT CHICKS and Hot Guys!!
K: Of Course. This brings up the topic of your gender preferences. So do accept that you are omnisexual?
DP: I will neither deny nor accept that. It all depends on my highly dysfunctional brain. And right now, my brain wants you to know that a “merc with a mouth” never reveals his secrets.
K: Now, we would like to know what it is like to have a brain that can’t always be trusted.
DP: Everyone has their weaknesses, mine just happens to be my brain. Don’t get me wrong, I happen to believe that it is important to eradicate all the stupid people from the face of this earth. It’ll make life very easier for everyone. And these are times I am glad, I am IMMORTAL. HAHA.
K: Since we are already being evil here. How does it feel like being compared to Spiderman all the time and being the lesser known hero? *cue evil laughter*
DP: Ouch.. my ego has been besmirched. This besmirchment will not stand! Spidey and I are miles apart. He isn’t the cool like I am and doesn’t own cool weapons like I do. And everyone knows I wear red better than him.
For the lesser known hero part, need I remind you who is the invincible one and who gets to outlive ‘em all? People will get to know me with time.
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Views presented in the article are those of the author and not of ED.