By Parnika Deora
Punjabi weddings are known for their grandeur and loudness. It demonstrates what whiskey does when combined with dancing and other delicious delicacies. But a wedding requires a lot of investment, both in financial and mental terms.
Alcohol in Punjabi weddings is like your ex. Even if you don’t like it, you just cannot ignore it and sometimes you may over-indulge in it! A Punjabi wedding is not a small affair, it’s planning starts a year before. The dedication that goes into executing and planning a wedding is a 9-12 job in itself! Let me breeze you through the pre-wedding craze that every Punjabi family goes through:
1. ROW OF FUNCTIONS:
Roca, shagan, engagement, Mehendi, Ladies sangeet, pre-wedding dinner, wedding, cocktail, post-wedding reception.
I’m not finished…
Post wedding dinners, bride’s first dinner at every relative’s house etc. and the list goes on and on.
You can make a 100-episodes show after one big Punjabi wedding and you can name it- “The Tales of the Ever-exhausted Bride”!
What to Do?
Relax! Don’t stress over this. Enjoy the food, the people and the occasion. Weddings are not an everyday affair so be a good sport and enjoy all the treats. Here is one tip- if you are approached by someone whom you don’t remember, just ask them about their work and then say, “Have you tried that chicken tikka? It is absolutely amazing. Wait, I’ll get one for you!” and Voila! You’re good to go.
Obsessions with wedding clothes start approximately 80-100 days before the wedding. Every dinner, every phone call and every taunt is related to the wedding and if one hasn’t decided their clothes at least 2 months before the wedding, then ‘someone is gonna get hurt real bad’.
What to Do?
Contact your friend with the best fashion sense and if you don’t have one, then may God be with you. Or get all your girlfriends together at one place and smartly plant the topic of clothes in between the conversation, the ideas will come flooding to you then! You can thank me later.
3. DANCE PREPARATIONS:
One needs to have his/her moves ready for the peppy numbers that breathe life into the parties. The bride’s girlfriends NEED to perform one girly number and the groom’s side HAS to perform on one ‘Dabang’ song! The preparations are just an excuse for chilling, eating and drinking with all the lucky fellows (those not married/getting married) :p!
What to Do?
The best part about performing in weddings is that no one would judge your dance skills. All that matters is that you slap a huge smile on your face, enjoy the music and just be thrilled for the happy couple.
Or stand at the back with your face hidden and copy the steps. If you cannot do that then you can jump off a cliff to save yourself the embarrassment.
4. DECIDING THE GUEST LIST:
This is where you realise that being too social might weigh down your wallet a hell lot. It’s confusing when it comes to deciding the guest list for different functions because sometimes you just cannot group the people you want to invite. According to me, there are four categories in which you can divide the people-
- Family and close family friends
- Friends (school, college, neighbourhood)
- Official business colleagues/bosses
- “Unhone apni beta/beti ki shaadi pe bulaaya tha toh humei unhe bulaana padega!”
Sending an invite is as tough as understanding what to wear on the first date. One always has something in mind but when the time comes, you’re blank as a paper. Nowadays, people send some really funky ‘Save the Dates’ and it has to be picturesque. It’s a really tough task.
What to Do?
Well, send a decent invite! You cannot expect to be lazy or disinterested while drafting the invites. It might make or break your wedding turnout.
Choose an invite that suits your personality.
Punjabi- Bold and Beautiful
Bengali- suave and sorted
Christian- sophisticated and plain
Etc. Or maybe, don’t be mainstream.
Last but definitely not the least-
6. EMERGENCY LIFE SUPPORT:
The most essential element for having a less stressful environment and being able to savour each moment of the pre-wedding madness involves having the full support of your loved ones. Otherwise, the wedding madness may take a toll on you and make you one hell of a spoiler!
Do keep in mind these points when you get ready to enjoy a big fat Punjabi wedding coming your way and do tell us if you feel there are some other crazy elements that are a part of this wedding madness!
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Views presented in the article are those of the author and not of ED.