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    I Hate Birthdays And You Should Too


    Getting excited on birthdays is the tackiest way to be enthusiastic. The level of enthusiasm within your closed ones increases with the decrease in the number of days left for the Birthday.

    Birthday and awkwardness are synonymous words. Apart from awkwardness, birthdays have other synonyms like – stupidity, fakethusiasm, illogical reason of celebration, etc.


    By now you must have got an idea that I hate birthdays. Let me give you reasons to justify my bitterness:

    Forced Conversations

    Long lost relatives, friends, ex-best friends, people you secretly hate call you with such aspiration as if you’re suffering from cancer and are about to die. Nothing is cruel than forced conversation. In my case, I don’t even know what to say once I have wished them Happy Birthday. Though the format has always been “aur batao” and it is sure as hell constant.

    Dare You Sleep!

    As soon as the hand of the clock struck 12 o’clock, your phone starts to ring. And once it starts, it never ends. It’s like the mobile phone has turned into an alarm clock. Sometimes I can feel my phone laughing at me.

    People Giving Special Treatment

    “Oh, it’s your birthday! You must be feeling happy”, “So what’s the plan for this special day”. First of all, birthdays are not that special. Admit it. You just came into existence on you birthday and you aren’t even the reason for your existence. Partying all day and not setting foot in your home is not celebrations for your parents.

    I’m Normal But People Think I’m Pretending

    On birthday, one feels like an animal set for showcase in the zoo. Everybody wants to see you and greet you. And my God, I could kill people for staring at me. Yes, it’s my birthday but I don’t feel ignited or enlightened. It’s just like any other day. DO NOT STARE AT ME. If you’re being normal on your birthday then guess what? You’re pretending. In the eyes of everyone, you are. And that’s when the level of awkwardness crosses the Bay of Bengal.

    A Black Hole In The Pocket

    “Where’s the party bro?” Treats on birthdays are a legal form of looting. It should be illegalized. It’s extortion. I have to feed people who are financially well off because I was born on that day 20 frickin years ago? Trying to find the logic behind it. A hole in the pocket, due to which you have to stop going out for a couple of months.

    Lameness Personified

    Let’s just accept that surprise birthday parties are lame. Singing “Happy Birthday to you” is lame. I mean what is it to sing, I know it already. Cutting the cake is also lame but since you get to eat it later, therefore, it can be justified. What is it about feeding cake to random people? I have tolerated the whole awkward day, I should be the first one to eat it, not you!


    If you ever feel awkward or logical on your birthday then don’t worry. You’re are not alone.

    Talking about Birthday stupidities, how can we forget Mulayam Singh’s Birthday last year.

    Image Credits: Google Images.

    Views presented in the article are those of the author and not of ED.

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