By Shivansh Gupta
Humans are the smartest arse living on this planet, aren’t they? Having so many neurons backing their intelligence enough to be able to tell the difference between a banana and a plantain. But the same neurons sometimes turn whimsical and mess up, rendering you to do some stupid and diffident acts.
We are a prisoner of idiotic and clumsy habits, the worst of which are the diffidence or hesitations renewed with each night’s sleep. My life is full of laughable self-confidence; for example, that this article will take half an hour, rather than two to write; that the money in my pocket will increase according to my needs; that the next butter chicken will not make me fat and that I could easily follow my daily study plans.
Now this is fine as I don’t have a country to run, like the majority of us. Smoking causes cancer, alcohol isn’t manna and dew, and money aren’t to be spent on that needless shirt you liked on your recent tour to a store. BUT…there always comes a but, after that comes that stupid regret that never comes on time before to save us.
Here I’m trying to give instances about the smallest stupidity we as humans do due to the fear of being judged, being stuck in an awkward situation or simply because of shyness. Some of the stupid ones are:
- Public Restrooms:
We are too shy to poop in public restrooms as if the person shit-ing next to you gives a shit about your shit and is there only to listen to your meticulous art to shit without making any noise. You both are there for the same reason. There is nothing to be ashamed of, just get your shit done ASAP and leave that place.
You have gone to your friend’s room for the first time and then she asked you to switch on the fan. Ok. 1 milli-second later… your brain starts to pound itself by thinking hard about “Which is that goddamned switch?…..this one? No…no…OMG, this opens the auxiliary light ..or this one ? No no…this closes the main light. In this lame endeavour, you end up knocking all the switches two times as Joey (F.R.I.E.N.D.S) had done to every new girl that entered Central Perk. Just ask her about it before flailing your fingers at the switchboard and you won’t be embarrassed.
You and your friend are watching a trendy funny video which is highly talked about in recent days. You may call it GOD’s interference but neither you nor your friends find the video humorous. It is as bad as Indian Idol auditions. But wait, as this is a famous video shouldn’t you revere it with a fake smile pretending to enjoy it. YAY!.. DON’T. Just either of you makes some blatant effort to skim it or close it. Or open a tab and read some serious article about human stupidity as you are doing now.
Ordered hastily? Wanting to change your order? Can’t do it as a lot of time has passed and the waiter will look at you as if you are some moron who can’t even decide what to eat? Or probably they will throw you out? Wait…let your hair down. Don’t think any further and change it. No one will ever know in your any lineages.
There are many such instances such as returning back on encountering that you were, till now, walking on the wrong turn that you had taken mistakenly, or laughing at your friends’ lame jokes, or feeling all inferior on watching others and much more.
We all are somewhat stupid. Be your own self, just don’t give a f*** what others would think.
And also it doesn’t really matter if you don’t know the difference between a banana and a plantain.
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Views presented in the article are those of the author and not of ED.