People say monsoon is the season of love. Really? Monsoon has its own indescribable joys like when you walk in your drenched shoes and socks and then a wonderful smell of dampened litter knock at your nose. (oh! wonderful)
This time, the monsoon had come with all the alarums and excursions like always. The word monsoon should be the pronoun for regret as it comes after vehement prayers and a week of torrential rain converts all the prayers to the F-words.
It gives crops their much-needed moisture. It is good for the underground water levels. It does something good for the idiotic romance. Other than that, it is a total jerk. It makes you look like a drowned, miserable rat.
We know about the fevers, the humidity, and the peeve those black clouds bring with them to sprinkle, but what about the dresses you wear? All your dressing sense is drained, as you don’t want to ruin your dearest clothes. The perils of wearing a new outfit knock up your enthusiasm to dress nicely and your plans.
It’s raining peeve and shit
Do you know the origin behind “It’s raining cats and dogs”? Well, neither do I and it has always irritated me. I mean why..why would you use such a useless phrase? Moreover, all forms of animals tend to vanish when rains appear. You will hardly ever watch cats and dogs dancing in the rain. Do you?
I don’t know if it’s flora’s whim or some kind of potion,as soon as it rains, bushes and shrubs seem to become devilish green, carrying all the moisture to load you up with. And those muddy grooves, they become more pronounced and their smell makes you rush back home. But you might not want to run, as then you will cover more area per minute which will increase your chance to get wet sooner.
It becomes all cold and wet. Neither your clothes will dry nor your hair. Bhutta wala, chai wala, ye wala, vo wala and such make their presence felt by shouting at the top of their voices as if they are competing with the indifferent croaking frogs. You cannot stop yourself from getting those because hey it’s raining and it makes bhutta mandatory which you will later regret for it is a meticulous art of holding an umbrella and eating a bhutta at the same time which not many of the people know.
The Usual Escape Plan
Other than the sheer amount of time and effort that goes into opening and closing an umbrella, it does less of what they are expected and adds more to your shoulders the liability of carrying them.
The polythenes. Well, let’s just not talk about it!
They look totally utilitarian and require an auxiliary carry bag (which again will be polyethene) to keep them. If you don’t wear them you’ll look like a drip but if you are brassy enough to pull them off, you will end up looking like a wrapped parcel.
And even if you managed a narrow escape by courtesy of above three, you CANNOT, escape from the puddles, from splashes and spills. You will fall, stumble even dive in them, as if you are ordained to do it or if you don’t, then say thanks to the cars and bikes who does not give a damp f*ck about you and your trousers’ hem.
- Don’t go outside. It’s a crazy world there.
- If it is important, then think for a good excuse and don’t go outside.
- Check the weather online and plan your work beforehand.
- Take an umbrella (which I’m sure you don’t have)
- Ask for the umbrella from neighbours(which probably is being used by one of their family members and is therefore out of stock)
- Don’t go outside.
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Views presented in the article are those of the author and not of ED.