It is said that at certain points in one’s life, your friends can perhaps be more important to you than even your own family.
Not to say that you stop loving your family, but sometimes family has a more difficult time in understanding that you are becoming your own person, who might be different to what they had expected and so forth.
In those times, it is one’s friends that come to your rescue, they are your confidants, they are the ones with whom you share all your troubles, achievements, and even mistakes that you might have made.
Sometimes, your friends might know more about you than even your own mother or father.
I think the hit show F.R.I.E.N.D.S is a perfect testament to how much importance we give to our friends, which is the family that we choose, not the one we are born into.
That it why, the role that your friends play or that you play in your friends life is holds more weight than you can imagine.
The reason I am bringing up this topic is that, of late I have seen that a lot of people are choosing or maybe have to let their friends be, when in times of crisis instead of head on confronting them about it.
I can understand perfectly that it can be quite difficult to confront your friend, especially if the topic is sensitive and they will most probably not want to talk about it. But at the same time, we must not let that deter us.
In fact, letting them be and giving them space, at least after a certain amount of time, can actually be detrimental to the person in question, and instead of solving their issues that space can, sort of become a breeding ground from which more problems and issues come out.
That is why I believe that, confronting our friends can actually be a way better idea rather than just letting go and creating distance between you and your friend.
Wait, let me set it straight that I am not advocating that you badger and push your friend to talk.
There is absolutely no harm in giving your friend some space, in order to calm down and get accustomed to their issues and the new feelings that they are evoking.
But at the same time, if one lets that ‘giving space’ bit go on for too long, it can create distance between you two and become a barrier, through which it might be difficult for you and your friend to get across from.
One thing to do here would be to, after a certain amount of time, start spending some time with your friend, and slowly and gradually, make them talk about whatever is troubling them.
The ‘let them be, they will come to me when they are ready’ mentality is not the right one to be in such cases.
Your friend might also get angry at you and feel that you are cornering them, since whatever they are going through is not the most pleasant thing and not something they want to think about or verbalize.
But holding it all in is also not good, and I believe it is your duty as a friend, to get them to confront these unpleasant yet real issues they are facing.
Signing off I would just like to say that, if any of your friend is not behaving like themselves then don’t be lax about it and distance yourself. Instead keep in mind, that this is the time when your friend needs you more than ever.
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Views presented in the article are those of the author and not of ED.