Hey y’all! Fresh new year on the rocks and we are back to breaking all the resolutions that we made. That includes reading the newspaper daily for I think quite a number too, hmm? *waggles eyebrows*
Fikar not! We are back with the most sarcastic news headlines that were trending on the internet on Week 1. Bizarre enough or not, you be the judge!
Indian Airlines Battling It Out With Rajdhani Fares.
Giving Indian Railways a tough competition is Air India who has decided to lower air prices on every Rajdhani destination. The aim is to cash on the upcoming vacation season. Might have helped their sales even more if they weren’t operating on sky-high prices all the time.
Karan Johar Finally Comes Out Of The Closet.
Give the poor man a break. The jokes are becoming a lil too rancid, his own and other people’s but it’s rather shameful that a gay man can still not be open about his sexuality in India without the fear of death threats and arrest warrants.
DU Bans Sexist Rappers From Their Fests.
Considering the amazing fests lining up around the Delhi University campuses in the following months, it is quite a laudable decision on the part of Delhi University Students’ Union to ban entertainers who are explicitly sexist. Because enough is enough, oh yeah!
#NotAllMen Was Trending Everywhere!
The one time men could turn a new leaf and actually accept responsibility for their oppression, they decide to display how collosal wimps they can be. Slow claps for your menfolk, How does it feel like to be dissapointing Mother Earth since umm, forever?
Petrol Pump To Stop Accepting Card Payments Nationally.
For evey card transaction they accept, the petrol pumps are allegedly being charged 1% of the amount. Why, oh why should banks or the government make lives easier for Indians?
Justin Bieber Abandons His Pet Puppy.
He has left him behind with one of his backup dancers Salvador, who was spotted on the fundraiser website GoFundMe trying to raise funds for the little pup Tod’s hip surgery.
And this is not the first time that he has done this. Is too late now to say sorry Justin? Yes it is. Please ban him from adopting any more animals dear Universe.
That’s all for sarcastic news this week. Come back next week same place for a heavier dose of the everything that is wrong (or well right) with the world around us!
Views presented in the article are those of the author and not of ED.