By Ranjabati Ray
Did you ever watch the series “A Man’s World” on YouTube? One of the social stigmas that had been addressed to on that series was Marital Rape. The protagonist, a man, had rightfully asked a valid question that how can a man be blamed for marital rape?
So before starting off with why I absolutely do agree with this let me tell you what marital rape actually is.
In India, usually when a girl reaches her ‘marriageable age’ her parents and her entire family scurry out to search for men for her to marry. Now, after choosing the right guy and everything, the wedding preparations start and before you know it, the wedding night or the “suhaag raat” comes up and then every other night of the blissful married life.
What does account as marital rape is that when the girl, the wife does not want to have sex with her husband but the man forces her to do it any way. Do you think this is right to coin the term rape in this case? Oh please no! It’s almost as if you are taking out money from your own locker and people are terming you as the thief.
Now, here’s one more thing about the Indian tradition which we all are very very familiar with – we do not like to talk, teach or even think about sex before marriage.
Speaking about that is like the greatest taboo and although the rules for the guys in the society have comparatively loosened up where they can watch porn and masturbate and talk about that openly, no such measures have been given to girls.
And rightly so. Because do you know why? Watching porn and masturbating will make a girl want to have sex and sex before marriage is a big no-no. Like come on people, she is carrying her family’s honor in her virginal vagina and she has bear the proof of that till the time she sleeps with her husband.
Now after getting married to this unknown guy, she is now expected to have sex with him. So what if he is an unknown person whom she has barely talked to and whom she barely knows for like 4 months? Come on, you have gotten married now. Like how the sole purpose of your life before that was to make yourself marriage material, similarly, after this, the sole purpose is to pleasure your husband whenever he wants you to and bear him kids.
This was the exact reason why you were brought to this world, allowed to live and not killed when you were a foetus. So that you could grow up and give your entire body which you were asked to shield away from unknown men, to an unknown man of your parents’ choice.
So what if you don’t know the man and feel awkward even sleeping beside him, leave alone him touching you and feeling you up? You were trained to submit to this mutely and give yourself up to your husband. And you should start doing it as fast as possible.
There’s no time to spare for you to get accustomed to him or leave alone fall in love with him.
If nothing else, think of the poor man. Why do you think he agreed to marry you? So that you could be his life partner and help him through all the ups and downs of life? So that you two could be mutual support systems for each other? Hell no.
Wake up woman!
You are there because he had had enough of pleasure with his hands and now really needed some real woman to fulfill his passions. He is after all the earning member of the family. So what if he uses you to relieve himself every night? That is why he and his parents had chosen you.
Hence, speaking out to all the women I know of, stop whining and crying if your husbands want to have sex against your will. Your will alongwith you entire body had been submitted to him when you decided to get married to him and now, you are not really in a position to make excuses like you are not ready for it or that you all should get to know each other before getting venturing into sexual realms.
Your husband owns you and every little part of you; whether he has sex with you forcefully or even beats you up till the point of death, you should do nothing but keep your lips sealed about it.
There is a reason why the Legislature of the country had exclusively excluded marital rape in the Indian Penal Code, because Indian traditions and the Indian culture will all crumble to pieces if marital rape is incriminated and hence, you can do nothing but deal with it. After all, a woman’s modesty and will are nothing in front of the the country’s age-old culture and tradition.
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